no, really

While still having all these crises of place and time, trying to figure out if I’m in the right place, if I’m working hard enough, if I’m playing the game right, if it’s worth the stress… right before I go to bed, I:
* figure out what that text-to-form-field-thingy is called (edit-in-place)
* get IMd from a close friend just saying “you ever stop to think how exciting life is?”

The second one is what got to me.

I do stop and think how exciting life is. A lot, lately, as a matter of fact. I am in a fantastic place in my life where I have what I need, I have a healthy and supportive family, a wonderful partner, a challenging job with people who support and encourage me, and a fascinating professional circle that inspires me continually. What more could I ask for?

Sure, things look 5h1t from time to time during the day, but as the boss says “life’s too short.” There is so much good going on around me, that the little bad, no matter how continuous or frustrating can be out-shined, Carebear style.

So if anyone has done a personality analysis for their job, they can appreciate what a useful tool they can be in working with other people, and what a pile of wank they are when it’s stuff you already knew.

For example:
The Birkman test told me that I like the outdoors, which anyone with a pair of eyes can see about me, as exhibited by my slow-roasted tan, the zen rock garden on my desk, or the picture of the beach as the background on my phone.

The Birkman also told me that I have a high need for freedom in my daily life. Again, a no-brainer for anyone who has worked with me or been friends with me. I love people, but I need to be able to do my own thing.

If you don’t know me, and you see my Birkman results, I imagine you’d learn quite a lot – stuff I already knew about myself (coming out really helps that, btw). Two days later, you can chuckle with me and say “gee, how did I not notice?” as you begin to spot my interests in the day-to-day. Two months later, you’ve chosen which of my interests you’re going to care about, and which ones piss you off, leaving you more knowledgeable than you started, but where have we ended up?

The trick is to focus on working with the traits in the other person that you don’t like. If you don’t like how independent I am, we need to figure out how you can get used to it, because it’s who I am.

My dream is to be the idea man. It used to mean to me that less work is involved, but that is changing. When you work with groups of people, or rely on others to get the ideas on their way, there’s a lot of convincing and research and accountability involved.

The reward I see is the fire that results from the spark. I want to be that critical, timely, powerful and reliable spark.

An excerpt from a recent e-mail that I sent. I found it rather poignant, and have been hard-pressed for time to properly ponder and put into words things I’ve learned recently.

A condensed view of my growth is as follows:

————————
From: me
Subject: overcome

[person]’s shortcomings have blinded us to much of the goodness that does exist. We will certainly not receive sufficient support from without (a fact we knew), so we have to draw on support from within. It does come out as one of those “just…” sentences, and it is by no means an easy task. I need to find a positive energy source that I can focus on to drive my actions and reactions so that I can maintain a positive attitude, and rise above.

I have great pride in my abilities and my professionalism. I am certain that is seen and appreciated by all members of the organisation, and it is how I will work past the obstacles as presented by [person]. As long as I can remember that, draw strength from it, and grow by it, I think that I can look down on this situation from above, rather than be drowned by it.

I can only hope that this strength, positivity and professionalism have a positive effect on the productivity of our team as a whole. As long as we have group buy-in on what we’re trying to accomplish, even if we fall short on timing, we should be able to avoid the low job satisfaction tar pit, as well as the “it’s his/her fault” syndrome (especially since in this instance, it’s me!)

I have not drunk the kool-aid. I am doing what I do best: rising above the situation and owning it.

Thanks.